Should We Give Toddlers Milk?

See Diana's thoughts

While I was still nursing Elio, I had planned to wean him and not replace those calories with cow’s milk, but rather with a nutritionally dense diet.

It seems to be common practice in the US, and still widely recommended, to give babies 12 months + about 16–24 ounces of whole cow’s milk per day. But nutritionally speaking, it’s not actually necessary to wean from the breast and replace that with cow’s milk. The biggest concern with little one’s drinking too much milk is that it can displace real food. It can also increase the risk of iron deficiency and other nutrient deficiencies.

Milk isn’t bad, though, and it can have its upsides. It’s an easy source of protein, fat, and carbohydrates, and it also provides calcium and vitamin B12.

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So, my plan was to simply transition from breast milk to a balanced, whole-food diet, without making cow’s milk a staple. But… you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

I weaned Elio just after he turned one. I would have loved to nurse longer, but I also wanted to give my body time to adjust before trying for another baby. Elio has always been a pretty decent eater, but he has never been a great sleeper. Around 12 months, his sleep was truly awful, and we were desperate. We started giving him a bottle at night with half toddler formula and half cow’s milk - and it worked! He stopped waking up as often, and when he did wake, we’d give him another bottle, and he’d go right back to sleep.

Any parent who has dealt with a difficult sleeper knows that once you find something that works, you cling to it for dear life.

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After speaking with our pediatrician, we eventually dropped the toddler formula and moved to just cow’s milk - before bed and whenever he woke in the night. At his peak, he was probably drinking close to 30 ounces of milk a day, which was too much. I noticed that his appetite for real food declined.

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We’ve since weaned him off all middle-of-the-night milk, and now he just has whole cow’s milk before bed. Which feels like a good balance right now. I’m okay with him having some milk, and it does bring me peace knowing he’s getting a little extra fat and calories before sleep.

I still don’t think it’s necessary to wean from breast milk to cow’s milk. But I do understand why it’s often done. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age two and beyond, and if you’re nursing that long, the need for cow’s milk is likely much lower. In the U.S., though, with our limited (read: basically nonexistent) maternity and paternity leave and lack of systemic support for breastfeeding parents, nursing for two years just isn’t achievable for many families. I think that reality plays a big role in why cow’s milk becomes the default.

I also think it’s worth acknowledging that the dairy industry has done some very successful lobbying over the years.

Overall, there’s no judgment here. Whether you give your toddler cow’s milk, a little milk, or no milk at all, all those choices can be perfectly healthy. If you choose a non-dairy alternative, I generally recommend soy milk, as it’s more nutritionally complete than most other plant-based options.

What are your thoughts? Do you give your toddler cow’s milk or another variety? Share in the comments…

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